I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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