More tranny stories later!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
