why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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