Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
