the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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