is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My penis needs a shock collar
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
