Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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