The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
