How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
