Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
