I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
