There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
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He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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