reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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