I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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