The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
