I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
