Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
