I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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