My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize