I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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