Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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