I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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