I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
