Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
