it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
