***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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