she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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