I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
