it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
