So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
