My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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