WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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