wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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