The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's shark week go big or go home
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
