i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
