Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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