you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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