How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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