so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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