he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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