Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
