how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
