and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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