i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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