Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
