just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
