You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
