we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
