So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
