So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got inside last night via doggy door
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
