Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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