Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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