i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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