we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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