He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize