He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
