when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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