Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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