Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize