I like to think it a success when the cops are called
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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