She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
