Don't make out with my wife yet
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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