So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
